You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
