Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize