I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
