Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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