I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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