Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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