i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
