Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
