I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
