you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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