Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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