I CAN MOONWALK!
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
