No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
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I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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