You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize