I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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