i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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