Got a toothbrush?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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