I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
