i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes