Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.

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(612): I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school. http://tfl.nu/cnqq

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(925): View more from California

He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"

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(925): He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest" http://tfl.nu/ei63

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(847): View more from Illinois

it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs

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(847): it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs http://tfl.nu/alw1

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(208): View more from Idaho

can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?

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(208): can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened? http://tfl.nu/sf3c

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(509): View more from Washington

We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.

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(509): We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade. http://tfl.nu/xjtk

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(315): View more from New York

JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...

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(315): JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room... http://tfl.nu/oonq

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.

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(203): Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/7e62

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(614): View more from Ohio

I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar

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(614): I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar http://tfl.nu/g47h

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him

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(202): when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him http://tfl.nu/8eei

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(775): View more from Nevada

Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?

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(775): Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear? http://tfl.nu/c8pp

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.

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(215): No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there. http://tfl.nu/8rlf

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings

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(412): I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings http://tfl.nu/tlmy

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(864): View more from South Carolina

he has this weird thing where he watches me pee

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(864): he has this weird thing where he watches me pee http://tfl.nu/0a5f

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(443): View more from Maryland

Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.

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(443): Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame. http://tfl.nu/nf1o

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(863): View more from Florida

Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.

(813): View more from Florida

You always make things weird.

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(863): Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower. (813): You always make things weird. http://tfl.nu/1vvg

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