i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life