I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
23 Men Confess What Gifts Would Brighten Their Day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.