Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.