apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
