I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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