the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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