somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
