it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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