my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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