do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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