i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
