I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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