I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
