He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
