Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
