Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
