he told me I talked like a deaf person
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
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He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
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I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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