Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
