So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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