Yo dont text me then not text me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
