He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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