dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
