she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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