I want to walk on stilts...naked
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
