Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Randomize