i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
