32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Sacagawea was the original milf.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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