Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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