My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
