I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
