Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize