But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
