been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
