Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
