those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just google imaged poop.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
