Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
