the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
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she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
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New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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