sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize
