saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Randomize
