I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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