Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
